What makes it glorious, you ask? Well, I just finished watching the original William Castle version of House on Haunted Hill on it, hosted by some weird pseudo-goth chick on a TV show called Macabre Theatre. Not only did they advertise a version of Girls Gone Wild called Ghouls Gone Wild (fake, of course…although wouldn’t that be about a thousand times better?) and interview Robert Englund (aka Freddie Kreuger), this basic cable premise even offers the greatest follow up to cheesy old horror films one could ever ask for: Conspiracy Theory Television.
The program, Out There TV, offers questionable advice on every subject from the supposed dangers of soy food to people who write in wanting to tell the world about the last time they were anally probed.
It’s like every kitchy, low budget, reactionary, loony, late night wet dream I’ve ever had.
Thank you, basic cable. Thank you.
I wrote this last night in Word while quite inebriated.
Truly it is a glorious channel, though. I'll never deny that. The only thing that would have made it better is if they were interviewing Bigfoot on how he was anally probed while on an overnight fishing trip with the Mothman.